i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
