He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize