so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
