i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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