Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
