And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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