I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
