its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
