This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
