Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sobbing to NWA
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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