I feel great
I just peed on a car
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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