Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
