You smell like a Billy Joel song
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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