from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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