I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
