I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
