I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
