You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
