That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
