just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
