I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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