Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
only if we run a train.
done.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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