You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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