On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize