I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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