I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
