3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
