Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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