i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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