why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
