That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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