Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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