So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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