is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
