You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
