I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
last night I used snow as a chaser
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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