he shaved USA in his pubs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
