I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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