I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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