I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
