Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
