she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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