i don't like sucking hair
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
