Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
