Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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