he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
