She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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