just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
