Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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