I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
