i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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