well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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