I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
