your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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