The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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