Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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