I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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