maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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