we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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