Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
