so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
