You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Still dying that you shit outside
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
