I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
