I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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